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Year in Review of a Stay at Home Mother: Don’t Mind Me, I’m Raising Some Kids

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Thanks… because I like eating already-been-chewed food (not).

Something awesome happened to me this year and you’ll never guess what it was.  No rad overseas holidays.  No life-changing events (like births or illnesses).  I didn’t win the lottery.  I didn’t find out I was pregnant with quadruplets.  There were no profound life realizations.  I didn’t learn a new sport or win anything.  I didn’t find a ‘job’ and I still haven’t paid back my student loans (oops).  And,  I certainly never got around to cleaning out that pesky guest bedroom closet!

This year was so awesome because… I lugged kids around on my hips and all the days melted together.  I took children for umpteen trips to the potty and deciphered the reasons behind a million cries and complaints.  I wiped noses, mouths and hands.  I washed mountains of dishes and laundry, and cooked countless meals.  I skillfully negotiated the unreasonable requests of a three year old and figured out how to hold a squirmy toddler in one hand with a million heavy bags + a bike in the other hand, while unlocking a door with my toes (not really, but it felt like that some days).  I gave up ‘last bites‘ of meals to other little mouths and often held my pee for hours before I realized that I had made sure everyone else had gone to the toilet except myself!  I declared war on mold and cockroaches!  I took at least eight million sleep deprived yawning walks to the playground and responded to the questions of ‘What?‘ ‘Why?‘ and ‘How?‘ at least a thousand times every. single. day.

Do, I have dreams, goals and checklists?  Of course I do!  Do I dream about the day when I can walk into a grocery store and be able to finish my thoughts without being interrupted?  Or, talk on the phone for more than two seconds without someone yelling or crying “Upppp mamamamama!”  Of course!  One day, I’ll go back to work and we’ll have enough money to buy another car and go out to eat whenever I don’t feel like cooking.  One day, I will be able to buy lots of fresh shirts that are not stained, stretched or ripped.  And, that primary school that I’ve been dreaming about opening… well, that will happen soon too.

While everyone was busy reflecting on their accomplishments over the year (as you do around the time of the new year), I realized that I was perfectly happy to have done what I did for the past 365 days.  On the surface, it would appear that I have done ‘nothing’ with my time, but that’s not true! I was a pajama queen in all of my domestic glory!  I don’t need to be ambitious or appear to be successful in somebody else’s eyes!  (I’m not implying that it’s bad if women go back to work, it was partially by chance and partially choice that I stayed home).  I’m ok with the fact that my main objective this year was just to be a ‘housewife‘.

No matter if a person has kids or not, or is a working parent or a stay at home parent, isn’t it ok to just be happy with what you’re doing at that moment?  We certainly need a direction in life and it’s important to strive for improvements from within.  But, scenarios change and people change.  What we’re doing today will not be the same thing that we’re doing in another year or two… so why not enjoy what we have now!?

My list of New Year’s resolutions is long… really long. But, I know that some of those resolutions, for now, will just have to wait.   These few years home with my kids are precious and fleeting.  I’m not in such a huge hurry that I would want to wish this time away.  The list of things I want to accomplish will be there forever. Whether things get crossed off of that list or not, there will always be more new ‘things‘ to accomplish.  I’ll get to that list in my own due time.  But, in the meantime, I’m going to enjoy the cuddles, the giggles, the silly nonsensical games and songs.  I’ll even savor the tears and the fights and struggles too.  I’m not in this to win anything.  I’m just here to be here.  There’s no ‘goal‘ to being a parent.  It’s just something that I am.  It’s a job that I take on as both light-hearted and serious, at the same time.  I actually don’t mind that I spend the majority of my days answering to people who are no taller than my bellybutton… in fact… I really love it!

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(Brownie points if you find any typos or grammar errors, please let me know)

17 Responses »

  1. You know what you have achieved, ” lived life” with ample time with the people you love most. And this is what everyone else’s goals lead to, but is never achieved. Congratulations for being one of the few who achieve it by choice. Don’t be surprised if the world is envious.

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  2. Love love love this! Thanks for taking the words right out of my mouth 🙂

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  3. This is a lovely reminder of the point of it all, thank you!

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  4. Beautifully said and I completely agree. I think there’s no better job for me than being home with these three ragamuffins while they’re little and I feel so blessed that I can x

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  5. You just voiced the very thing I was trying to articulate in my sleep deprived mind! I seemed to ‘lose’ 2013 in a flurry of pregnancy, toddler and new baby challenges, and I admit it did take its toll in the end. I have lots of plans for my career but right now my children have to come first. I am now making peace with my decision and accepting just how lucky I am that I have so many choices and can truly enjoy my children. Thanks for sharing!

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    • Glad I could voice it for you! It’s so important to remember that the SAHM status for some women is very temporary. Sometimes things pop up over night, like a job offer or whatever, and then everything changes. Enjoy the time that you have 🙂

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  6. Pingback: Year in Review of a Stay at Home Mother: Don’t Mind Me, I’m Raising Some Kids | Spookymrsgreen's Blog

  7. I really love this. I feel like it could be my own words (except your words say is so much better than I could). Thanks for writing such a wonderful, validating post!

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  8. very cool. i am happy to hear about your war on cockroaches because i’ve noticed you seem amazingly accepting of the little …….things, & they are one thing i absolutely cannot stand…but i still don’t know how to war them, anyway only recently one flew into my room while i was getting ready to turn off the light (gawd i only found out they flew a few years back – UGH) so i lay there (Mike was away) not keen to turn off the light wondering what to do! then i remembered i had a camping mozzie net so i was SO stoked to hook it up to the curtain rail & be inside it, felt SO safe in there 🙂 !! i wonder if my hate for them stems from a uni science dissecting of one…ugh i wish they weren’t around… ANYWAY, rabbiting on, GREAT post, thanks xxx

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  9. Oh, I just adore this post! I’m a new reader… just stumbled across your blog and enjoying reading backwards. It’s always neat to discover kindred spirits, especially halfway around the globe! What an amazing time we live in…

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