RSS Feed

Setting Loving Limits on a Boob Obsessed Toddler

Posted on

 Toddlerboob

It’s ok to say “No” sometimes.

Actually, if you’re considering weaning because you’ve had enough of your boob addicted toddler, saying “No” may just prolong your breastfeeding relationship with your child and make breastfeeding more enjoyable for everyone in the long run. Is there a difference between feed on demand and constant, in your shirt every five minutes? Yes, yes there is.

Believe me… I’ve bitten the pillow and the back of my hand out of pure frustration. I’ve had visions of throwing my poor little one off of me… I had had enough! I thought I was going to have to wean because I just couldn’t handle it anymore! I was resenting the fact that my breastfeeding toddler.JUST.WOULD.NOT.STOP.

Even though all the gentle parent pages out there say it’s normal for a toddler to breastfeed constantly and it won’t last forever, and that toddlers need to feed for comfort… I was 100% over it. I wasn’t comfortable anymore! I KNEW the situation wouldn’t last forever… but it didn’t make the boob crazy toddler any easier to deal with in that moment!

Luckily, I learned some things early on that saved and prolonged my breastfeeding relationship. My kids are 4 and nearly 2 and both still on the boob. We’ve reached a very happy equilibrium where everyone’s needs (including mine) are met. Unmet needs of a mother is a real thing and something that you don’t want to ignore. So before you’re ready to throw in the towel on breastfeeding a boob crazy toddler, consider a few things.

Offer Comfort in Other Ways
Often, a toddler who comes to you screaming for boobs, like, ripping your shirt off, (even though they just had boob half an hour ago), is probably after some connection time. No child is trying to misbehave, manipulate you or do anything to betray you when they come crying for boobie. They are simply acting out their frustrations and needs in any way that they know how. They know that asking for boob will get them some sort of connection time with you. If you know that they’re not hungry or thirsty and have just had boobs, here are some ideas that I have found to be the absolute most useful for creating some very powerful connection time.

  • Play silly games that will make them laugh (not laughing at them). Peek-a-boo always makes a child laugh and they will love that you have stopped what you are doing to give them some meaningful connection time. Hide and seek, chasing, etc. You can try other nonsense games like, “Where’s the teddy’s boobies? Does the dinosaur have boobies? What if we have daddy’s boobies? etc.”  There are so many ways you can play with them to create connection. You can also use the silly game thing for when they try to shove their hand down your shirt (personally, I can’t stand that!). Instead of saying, “No, gentle hands.” (for the millionth time) you can gently hold their arm and say, “Oh, I’ve got your arm!” They’ll most likely laugh and you can make a little game of it. This won’t make them think it’s ok to rip your shirt off, rather it will give them that meaningful connection and laughter to help release some tension. Plus, when they laugh, you probably will too, and then you’ll both be feeling better. There is a fantastic book that I read called Attachment Play” by Aletha Solter, which goes over ways you can incorporate play into your lives. (they may also cry when you say it’s time to stop playing, more on that in a second).
  • Go for a walk using a baby carrier (if they grab your boobs and you have a carrier that allows it, put them on your back!). The closeness will give a great feeling of connection.
  • Have a pillow fight and really let them pretend to knock you down, exaggerate a little here so that they laugh. This will let them feel like they get to ‘boss you around‘ for once.
  • Other ways of connecting like reading books, and playing blocks, will work, but it will probably take a long time of you sitting there and you may start feeling resentful about this too! You can do these things too, but do them in a silly way! Then, they will get a really high dose of connection that is hard to beat.

Consider Age-Appropriate Night Weaning
When my kids were night weaned, between the ages of 20-22 months, they slept considerably better at night. I’ve heard the same from many other mothers. It was a gentle and gradual night weaning that happened over many many months. We’re co-sleepers in our house, so night weaning only meant that we offered shortened feeds and cuddles instead of boob at night, or maybe a sip of water. And, night weaning is not something I rigidly enforce. Actually, sometimes, if my toddler has been on a daytime feeding strike or if I’m at work, I’ll give ONE drowsy feed at night just to make sure my supply stays up and they’re getting enough milk. If you don’t find the night wakings to be a problem, then maybe you don’t feel the need to night wean. But, if your toddler is waking a billion times a night and you’re considering weaning all together because of it… it could be a sign that they are addicted to boob… which leads us to the next topic.

Won’t They Cry?
Yes! They will absolutely cry. Up until this point, they’ve probably been offered boob whenever they were upset about anything, so not offering the boob will actually allow them to get a good cry out… Which might seem weird and unusual! But then, we have to look at how we look at crying in our society in the first place. Crying is looked at as something that should be avoided. But, in reality, it’s a natural mechanism that helps children heal from stress and trauma (imagine how you feel after you’ve had a good cry). People have actually studied the chemicals in human tears and found that quite a bit of stress and toxins are released through tears. So, if your toddler is looking for boobs that they just had five minutes ago and then they cry… maybe it’s a cry of frustration that needed to come out anyway? Just something to think about.

When they cry, try holding them or stay near and let them know that you are there for them. Try not to walk away or do anything else other than to let them have their tantrum and support it in a loving way. By allowing them to have a good cry, rather than offering the boob, it can help them, especially if they have been acting out or acting aggressively. You can look up cry-in-arms for more information on the benefits of lovingly allowing a child to release their emotions.

A well known scenario in my house goes like this: If my toddler has just had boobies and comes over sticking a hand down my shirt and whining, “BOOOOOOBIE!!!“, I look them in the eye while giving a cuddle and say, “No sweetheart, not now, you’ve just had boobies.” Often times, this will initiate full blown crying! Our first reaction is to do anything to stop the crying… but I don’t. Instead, I think about why she might be crying (maybe she’s tired, upset, frustrated, etc.) and then, I say something like, “Yes, I know you’re upset” and that may even intensify the cry. It’s exactly what happens to us adults… you know when you’re feeling upset about something and you’re on the verge of tears and then all of a sudden, somebody lovingly pays attention to you? Bam, instant tears because all of a sudden your feelings are acknowledged and those feelings want to find a way to release themselves! And then, we often feel much better afterwards.

Should You Distract Them?
It’s better not to distract them, rather deal with the emotions and situation directly. In a pinch, distractions might be great, (even things like using a dummy (pacifier) are considered distractions) but in the long run, when you distract a child from their need to connect with you, it will only bubble up later as some other undesirable behavior.

Won’t I Confuse Them?
A lot of woman are concerned that you will end up confusing your toddler if you say “No” sometimes to boob and “Yes” other times. But, again, it just comes down to awareness of the child’s need. It can take some time to really start to differentiate between when they really need boob and when they’re just asking for it out of habit or asking for it repress any painful emotions or feelings. Also, if you’re resenting the non-stop breastfeeding, it’s pretty hard to hide these feelings for too long! Even if you’re really good at hiding it from one child for a couple years, you might have a second child and find that you’ve exhausted all of your patience and you’re totally over it! There is nothing confusing about listening to the true needs of you and your child.

Hormones
Nursing aversion often rears is ugly head the most when you’re ovulating, have your period or are pregnant. I used to always think it was my toddler’s latch that was off and that she was hurting me, but really, it was my sore nipples that was driving me nuts! So, if you suspect or know that any of these things are the cause of your annoyance, keep in mind that the aversion may only last for a couple days. I usually reduce the number and duration of feeds during these days and then we pick back up again when the hormonal days are over.

In the End
Only you know how much you can tolerate from a boob obsessed toddler. But, you need to take your needs into consideration too. You also have to consider if a toddler is coming for boob when really they are looking for something else. Unmet needs of a mother can lead to desperate feelings of anger, resentment and despair, and those feelings don’t benefit anyone. Of course, we need to take our children’s needs into consideration, but that’s something you already know if you’ve read this far!

Don’t forget to be creative and have fun! I was at the height of my nursing aversion when my older daughter was 2 1/2 and just for fun, I gave her rice milk in a bottle and pretended to hold her like a baby. She thought it was a riot because she never actually drank from a bottle! In the end, if you’ve tried cutting back on feeds, tried night weaning and everything else and if it STILL doesn’t feel right, then maybe it is time for you to wean if you’re not enjoying it. No matter what you end up doing, remember that you are not alone and there are many MANY other breastfeeding mothers out there who are experiencing exactly the same thing as you!

Find Katesurfs on Facebook to follow my other parenting posts and blog articles.

95 Responses »

  1. Love this, you write what I think/feel so often , thank you 🙂 xx

    Reply
    • Glad you enjoyed Jazz, I feel like every mother could start a blog… and we would all probably start writing about the same thing! You’re never in it alone!

      Reply
  2. Thank you so much for writing this, it came at just the right time and was extremely helpful!
    Just night weaned my almost 19 month old and I hope it helps our breastfeeding relationship. Your tips and advice are great, I will try them

    Reply
    • You’re welcome Eilat! It’s something that I found myself giving advice on all the time, so I thought I would just write a blog post on it… a very common issue!

      Reply
  3. Just bookmarked this one for future reference, Kate! Thanks so much, this blogpost is so relevant right now!!

    Reply
    • You are most welcome. Judging from the number of times it got shared just from my tiny facebook page, I think it’s probably relevant to a lot of women breastfeeding their toddlers!

      Reply
  4. I really needed to read this. I was feeling so alone and that my 2 year old was the only child boobie obsessed.

    Reply
  5. Love Love Love this!!!:)

    Reply
  6. Greet article – thank you for the support.

    Reply
  7. I so needed to read this, thank you x

    Reply
  8. What about when tandem feeding? I’m feeding a 20 month old and a 6 month old. I would like to reduce my 20 month olds feeds but she wants boob every time her brother wants a feed.

    Reply
    • It’s really difficult when you have nurslings so close together! That is the loving limit that you put in place. There will be bound to be some tears from the older one. Maybe try and do it when you know you can have some help around. Somebody who is comfortable in allowing your older one to cry in a supported way.

      Reply
  9. This is exactly how I was feeling with my daughter. I started drying up because I got pregnant. And started telling her not right now. We limited to naps and night time and I keep a cup of water by my bed for her when she starts pulling at my shirt. We have completely stopped now and i dont have any hard feelings about it like i did qith my son who stopped nursing at 10 months. We had a good run. She sometimes nurses on her barbie or dolls that have boobs. She’s in a bit of denial and withdrawl.

    Reply
    • It’s quite dramatic for them, but like I mentioned, so long as they are allowed to express their emotions in the form of tears, you can be sure that there won’t be any long term negative impacts from the weaning process. I also dried up when pregnant and just had to say no more often, but when my milk came back, she was all over it again!

      Reply
      • I believe she will want to nurse again after the baby is born. I wouldn’t mind it. I think she’s going to be too jealous and I want her to have a bond with the new baby so she doesn’t hurt it and I think it’s the best way. My husband is against it but in the end he’s not the one staying home with all the kids he won’t be dealing with the repercussions.

  10. When im feeling bf aversion I end up feeling so guilty and fill my head with negativity. I feel so irrational and irritated. This article has really helped me feel like im not alone and im not a bad mum after all
    THANK YOU

    Reply
  11. Thanks for this great article Kate. I’m in this situation right now, a very obsessed toddler which won’t stop to breastfeed at night. I’m so frustrated with the situation, I cannot cope any longer, getting down by it as it’s affecting me so much due the lack of proper sleep, plus pregnant with twins!
    My two years old daughter doesn’t really want to stop nurse at night and she is waking up between 2 to 3 times at night (every night), the good nights, and sometimes 5 to 7 times, the really bad nights. I really love to breastfeed but right now, I just cannot cope any longer, it’s getting painful and not pleasant, and with the twins pregnancy I don’t have energy for it. We have been trying few nights when she wake up to offer her a bottle with some rice or oat milk and explain her on the beginning of the bedtime routine that tonight is not boob time to sleep or when she wake up, it’s just bottle time. She understand on the beginning but after 5 / 10 minutes, she cry, cry and becoming quite demanding for boob that on the end we gave up and I got to breastfeed her.
    I will take all your suggestions on board and really hope some will work, and everyone will sleep better.

    Reply
  12. Thank You so much for this. It says what I haven’t been able to put into words myself. Wonderfully written, a few tears here. Xx

    Reply
  13. Thank you so much for this post, I’m a mother of a 12 yrs old girl who was breastfed until she was 2 yrs and a 22 months old son who is still breastfed and obsessed with my boobs. I’m in a two weeks break from work and I promise it has been a nightmare! To the point that I can’t even go to the restroom if I’m not holding him! We also co-sleep, and I totally think that he does NOT sleep during the night!

    I feel frustrated but at the same time is bittersweet because I don’t want to wean him. I will definite use your recommendations and hopefully we can all have a peace and love!

    Reply
    • Oh good luck with it all!

      Reply
    • I don’t understand why the confusion and frustration. You set yourself up for disaster. The kids didn’t do this they didn’t ask to co sleep. What do you expect? Normally kids are attached to their moms and then you add co sleeping and you ask yourself why he’s holding on to you for dear life lol

      Reply
  14. My 2 1/2 year old is so boob obsessed that even when he isn’t nursing he wants to pull down my shirt and snuggle with my boob. It’s driving me crazy.

    Reply
  15. Thanks heaps. I’m reading this as I’m at this point now! Having a 2 year old who is beyond obsessed he nurses way more and more often than my brothers 3 week old and hourly all night long. I’m at a loss. Will try your strategy and view crying differently (if I can) starting tomorrow. I’m too tired rift now to battle this evening!

    Reply
  16. I’m dying tonight. I’ve cut down to just naps and bedtime but he has never once slept through the night. He’s 2. I’m so close to a mental breakdown I’m half in tears.

    I’m trying to dry up my milk and cut the nap nurse so we can try to teach him to soothe himself. It is a nightmare. He screams bloody murder and gets violent with me. Attempts at comfort make it worse. Right now he won’t unlatch and there’s no more milk coming out, he’s tearing up my skin. He’s snoring!

    I hate nursing and I wish I had never started.

    Reply
    • Oh dear… set some loving limits and see what happens. It seems like hard work in the beginning, but will make you feel better. Also, read tears and tantrums by Aletha Solter, it will make you understand the crying better.

      Reply
  17. I was still fine with breastfeeding my 2 y/o but I live with my mom and she was constantly making comments about how it was “gross” and “weird” and “icky” and “not right” to breastfeed at that age…these past couple of weeks I finally just went cold Turkey except when I feel too guilty or if I ever nod off…DD will rob me if she ever catches me snoozing! Lol it took a lot of tears but I think we’re pretty close. I’m just having a problem with her wanting to squeeze and rub the boobs all the time.

    Reply
    • I don’t agree with those comments (gross, icky) I think it’s your moms own hang ups I guess she’s a big boob person sexually. However its not healthy (mental) for a mom to breastfeed so long into a child’s life. A baby should be breastfeed not a toddler. And anyone who wants to tell me different just go and read most of these desperate comments from moms. They are all unhappy stressed and about to lose it!

      Reply
      • @ Pris. Just curious as to why you are reading this post if you aren’t feeding your toddler? Also do you have any medical knowledge? Please refer to scientific and medical research, text and journals before referring to mental health of mothers and breastfeeding in toddlers.

      • Totally agree with Melissa. Great response!

      • Why are you on this forum if you have nothing nice to say! breastfeeding is a beautiful thing. do you still breastfeed from a cow??

  18. I’ve been trying to wean for at least 6 months or more, it’s not working very well. What about just going cold turkey?

    Reply
    • If it’s really driving you bonkers, you may need to, although you will have to expect some tears, so be ready for them 🙂

      Reply
  19. Probably should have mentioned I’m 17 weeks pregnant, and I’m sure there’s no milk coming out anymore. It is very painful and I can’t stand it. I’m debating not nursing the new one when he or she comes because it has been hell trying to get her to stop.

    Reply
  20. Tandem is so hard. We are 6 months in. I have no idea how you have gone 2 and a half years. Wow super mum. Not sure how long i will last. We have had lots of difficulties along the way.

    Reply
  21. THANK YOU! My daughter self-weaned (she is about to be three), my 21 month old son is obsessed. beyond obsessed. and I have been struggling with it. I feel like a meanie when I say no and he has a breakdown, and I have not found anyone else who has explained his need for boob like this article. I’m 34 weeks pregnant, and have had a couple days where I swear they almost fell off from being so sore! But my main concern is having to nurse a newborn, who needs breastmilk, without her having to fight her big brother who just ate breakfast and decided he needs boob again. I think it will be a definite struggle, but I have been trying to gently wean him for months (not altogether, but hopefully nurse 2-3 times a day and not ALL DAY) I just wish I had found this sooner!

    Reply
    • I know this is old but any advice? I have a boob obsessed 15 month old who is too young for bribes and wants to suck, cuddle l, and fondle my boobs 24/7. I think his perfect day would be sitting on the couch with me while he just did this all day. I’m in my second trimester and the only option I think will work is stopping cold turkey. But I’m afraid of the emotional damage… how did his play out for you? And how did he deal when the new baby came?

      Reply
      • Hi Chris! I highly recommend reading the book ‘Tears and Tantrums’ By Aletha Solter. When you want to set a limit on the boogie touching, he will probably cry. And, that’s ok, but we need to know how to listen too.

  22. Night weaning tips?

    Reply
  23. Massage is a great way to connect with your child–soothing to both of you and distraction from nursing. You don’t have to be a massage therapist–get a book on baby massage or ask a MT to help you with some ideas. Using some lavender or chamomile infused oil will also help(NOT essential oils please on young ones–soak the dried, whole herb in a base oil until the oil smells like the herb and then strain off).

    Reply
  24. Love this! The time has come for me to stop bf my nearly 2.5 year old and I found this really helpful, so thank you 🙂 xx

    Reply
  25. My 28month old daughter was weaned of breast 3 months ago but has in the last 2 weeks has wanted to breast feed again. Every night just as bed time approaches she starts having tantrums and wont accept anything else. I have tried bottle feeding her which was ok for a while now she just does not want the milk or tea or juice. I am confused and worried and am not sure what to do. Please help….

    Reply
    • I’d probably let her try – chances are after that long she may have lost the ability. I’d probably say ‘if you want to have a cuddle and mummy milk (or whatever you call it!) that’s fine’… and if she then doesn’t manage it a ‘we can still have cuddles and I can cuddle you when you have a bottle/cup of milk and even longer!’… It sounds like she wants the comfort/closeness of feeding so I’d try and make extra opportunities for play that involves contact around the time in evenings she needs it…I’m sure Kate will have heaps of better worded ideas!

      Reply
      • Any more i fo on night weaning when co- sleeping? My 16 month old is not sleeping well with me anymore I think. Im open to moving her to a trundle next to me if the night weaning should happen when moving her, or is that too many changes at once? My husband may want to come back to the bed eventually haha. I am not into having my boob in her mouth all night. Its starting to drive me crazy. How lo g does it take? (ish) is there a method?

      • There will be some crying… But if you feel it’s time, do it gradually 🙂

  26. My daughter is 32 months and her brother is 4 months. I have intense nursing agitation with her and she wants milk every time her brother is nursing, which is many many (many) times a day! I don’t know what to do.

    Reply
  27. You mentioned that your strategy for night weaning took awhile but worked even while co-sleeping. What were your steps & strategy? Thanks!

    Reply
  28. I’m 12 weeks pregnant and so over the constant boobing requirements of my 2yo son. Do you have any suggestions for an aggressively obsessed boobie boy? During the day I can distract him for a while but at night time he will resort to hitting, biting, head butting, screaming and crying if I try to limit the feeds or feed times. Working 10hr days and being woken overnight is taking its toll emotionally and physically.
    My husband thinks the only way may be to move our son into his own room but I fear that may result in more dependency and even less sleep for all of us.

    Reply
  29. Just what I needed. Thank you!

    Reply
  30. I am currently struggling with my 2 year old’s latch. It started the last couple weeks of pregnancy (I had aversion the entire last half of pregnancy) and at times I know she’s biting me because I have a ring of teeth marks on my areola but other times I check and she isnt. Are my boobs just extra sensitive being 1 week PP or is it her latch? How do I fix her latch? We’ve tried unlatching and relatching as I would a newborn and having her mouth all the way open wide. Even if it starts ok before long I feel her teeth again. Sort of at my wits end. I am so glad to have milk again for her but I’m also frustrated about the latch. I also have a bit of aversion with both babies- her way moreso- will that go away?

    Reply
    • Oh, sorry to hear all that… You may be having a strong aversion to her and that’s what’s making it painful. She may also be chomping a bit because she’s feeling upset over the new sibling addition?? My only advice would be to really listen to your body. If it’s saying no to her, then I would probably limit the big kid feeds.. then the aversion may go away for the baby.

      Reply
  31. Is it okay to just let them until they fall asleep at night when they want it but you not giving in to giving it to them?

    Reply
  32. Thank you – just found this while looking in desperation! My girls both self weaned at 18months. My boy (24 months) is totally addicted (!!!) and I’m not enjoying it anymore so need to find a way to stop. It seems that crying is an inevitable part of this process 😔. Thank you again xx

    Reply
    • Hugs mama! He can still be held and cry and be supported… if you’re feeling over it, you need to do what feels right.

      Reply
    • Dido!!! Desperation googling!!! So glad to find this and also continued in to “crying in arms”. It’s ok to cry!!! So true and obvious, why didn’t I consider this? Lol
      Thankb you for sharing Kate

      Reply
  33. Thank you for sharing. I’m struggling with this for a very Long time. I have a 2 year 10 month old whom I’ve been trying to set limits on nursing but refuses and is very strong willed. I’ve tried counting down etc. And when I’m asking her to unlatch after a feed when she’s not quite wanting to be done, she will bite down and scrape her way out with her teeth. This goes on almost every night/morning. She is also a bad sleeper. I really am at my wits end. I can’t pass her over to anyone as Husband is frequently out of town for months. So we can’t really set any proper routine unless he’s back. Pls help with advice on what to say when she bites and scrapes her way off my breast likely out of spite.

    Reply
    • Dear Alysson… I can hear your frustration! I highly recommend reading the book “Tears and Tantrums” by Aletha Solter. She goes into great detail what I can say in a short article. It sounds like she has a lot of pent up emotions to release. It’s ok to say no. She will cry. If you’re in the right frame of mind, it’s ok for you to listen and let her cry. She may cry a lot, as she may have an accumulation of pent up emotions. I hope this helps. Xxx

      Reply
    • It’s your body! Tell her no, distract with out her things and let’s her cry. Make sure she’s well feed and hydrated. Tape down boobs

      Reply
  34. Maybe the problem is that you have allowed a baby to nurse until they were 4. You have created a habit. I can’t even imagine why a 4 year old should be nursed in the first place. So this isn’t the child’s problem,it’s yours. Maybe you should write about helping moms ween because you moms set the tone not the kid. I have a 4 year and I cant even imagine breastfeeding. And let me not even start on the co sleeping.

    Reply
    • This article obviously upset you. It’s hard to imagine that other people parent differently from how you do it. It’s very natural for children to sleep near their parents. It’s how the human race is still in existence today. Children would not have survived if their parents hadn’t slept near them because it was either cold, or predators would have eaten them! Parenting doesn’t stop at night, children need to be responded to in the middle of the night too. It’s your opinion that children should not breastfeed until a certain age. But, opinions are always changing and are based only on your previous experiences. If you don’t agree/can’t understand a concept in an article, you can always just ignore it, you don’t have to leave a comment.

      Reply
    • Just wondering why you have such strong feelings about this, Pris/Pues? This article is to help support mothers who choose to breastfeed/and or cosleep. Please respect that and allow these women to share their feelings and frustrations free of judgement. People have the right to parent in different ways and just because it may not be the way you choose to parent and you do not understand it does not make it wrong. Your comments are not helpful at all.

      Reply
  35. Knowing im not alone is so comforting. Zo many shirts stretched out, and tank tops ripped from the pulling my LO does for the boob. Thanks for this.

    Reply
  36. It’s just the kind of article I needed to read! So it’s normal I feel like pushing my munchkin away and I feel fed up with nursing, normal that he gets upset and cries when I refuse. I’ve read positive parenting articles and they talk about what to say but usually not about the reaction our child will have… even if I acknowledge my boys feelings, he doesn’t just chill and think “oh my Mama understands, I will stop my tantrum » …!

    Reply
    • Oh yes, they certainly will cry and possibly rage! It’s ok to listen with an open heart (although not easy!!). Hugs mama <3

      Reply
  37. I know this is from forever ago, but god thank you. I cried reading this because we are at the 22 month mark and I am exhausted by all night feedings. We have mostly weaned during the day, but I have fallen into the trap of feeling TERRIBLE when she starts the full brown cry. I lovingly support her emotions, but end up giving in sometimes because her little body is so upset and I just want to make it better. I felt along because i don’t know ANYONE else who has nursed this long or understands how I am feeling – TORN! THANK YOU THANK YOU!

    Reply
  38. I so needed this right now as I sit here in tears feeling like such a terrible Mommy. It’s so comforting to know that what we are going through is completely normal and we are not alone.

    Reply
  39. Thank you! My boob obsessed 2 year old has me going crazy! Reading this gives ideas and perspective. And lets me know there are other boob crazy toddlers out there 😊 Thanks again!

    Reply
  40. Great advice 🙂

    My little one turned 2 a week ago and he has started to become more obsessed with boobs more than he ever has!

    I unfortunately live with my parents in law, who need their sleep at night.
    I feel stuck as I know my co-sleeping boobie monster will scream the place down, if I don’t offer to feed him 3 x per night!

    I’ve told everyone I know that he has stopped feeding, but my husband knows I still feed him.
    My husband doesn’t accept that I still breastfeed, and is totally against me doing it.

    If I end up having another child, there’s a big possibility that I’ll bottle-feed.

    I just don’t have the will power, and my full time working 65 year old father in law wouldn’t appreciate being woken up countless times during the night.

    Eurgh!!!

    Reply
    • Oh, big hugs to you!! I highly recommend reading the book “Tears and Tantrums’ by Aletha Solter. Usually, that much waking at night has to do with accumulation of emotions, they can be released during the day also. I’m always here if you need a consultation, I do them online, via-Skype.

      Reply
  41. I’m a mom with a 2amd a half year old who loves nini” time I have supplemented with toddler formula before and it seemed to work when she was little
    Like 1 when she wouldn’t drink milk now she wants warm chocolate milk when mom is choosing not to nurse I still nurse sometimes when she’s not feeling well it’s almost as if she knows what her body needs and my milk will provide that I’ve used a bottle up until now I’ve chosen to switch over to a sippy cup with warm milk which my LO isn’t interested in at all but will grudgingly drink with my toddler loves to nurse I’ve tried not to nurse her when she’s upset or hurt I comfort her in other ways during those times good idea on the hand down shirt thing game my LO defiantly has her hand down my shirt but mainly when she’s tired

    Reply
  42. Thank you-gently trying to wean my 3.5 yo. We cosleep. The boob is the one area that’s placing stress on my marriage and my sleep. I’m getting to the point of wanting to help her self soothe/break the habit. I’ve already forbidden my DH and MIL from using language like “too old for boobie” and babies only. I don’t want to shame my DD into stopping. DH also tries distracting her away from me when she asks but I think what you said about acknowledging the emotions/letting her feel the feels is the better approach. I’ll try it. Of course, it breaks my heart when she cries for it.

    Reply
    • I understand… it’s something that can really sound upsetting. I highly recommend reading the book ‘Tears and Tantrums’ by Aletha Solter. She talks a lot about crying and when you read about it, it changes your view on crying. A lot of times, we want to stop our child from crying, when crying can really help release the emotions.

      Reply
  43. This article is wonderful thank you. My 20 month old has started trying to nurse almost non stop during the night and every time we make eye contact during the day. I’m so tired. This week didn’t hell as I was sick and haven’t been fighting him at all on it because I’m hoping it will keep him from getting what I’ve got but as soon as I’m better I’m really going to implement your steps. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve growled, “I’m done! No more nursing!” in the middle of the night out of frustration. He’s my fourth and I don’t remember my girls doing this, to this degree.

    Reply
    • Oh mama… big hugs. It can be so hard! There’s a really great book called ‘Tears and Tantrums’ by Aletha Solter, I so recommend reading it.

      Reply
  44. Stacey Marsh

    At the momrnt i have a 2 and a half yr old that asks for boobie several times a day the problem is that he hardly eats his meals which i have got very frustrated with, if i refuse ge scresms and gets very distressed so i give in….i widh i had given up bf years ago

    Reply
    • Oh, big hugs. I highly recommend reading the book ‘Tears and Tantrums’ by Aletha Solter. It’s ok to say no and ok to listen to his tears. Big love to you..

      Reply
  45. Catherine Stanley

    I’m only here because I watched a 2 or 3 year old having an epic tantrum in a grocery store check out line because mom wouldn’t give the child “her” boob juice. She was breastfeeding an young infant at the time. Dad ended up picking up the tantruming child and walking her out to the car. I think possible she didn’t like that her baby sibling was breastfeeding and mom told her no. Or possibly she’s never had to share anything before including mom’s boobs.

    Reply
  46. Very good write up..loved it.

    Reply
  47. Hi was wondering if you could help me.
    My 2 and a half year old is
    Boobie mad and has a lot of feeds during the day and night. Is this linked to weight gain? She is clinically obease!!! We are having tests to find out if there is an underlying cause which is causing such weight gain! She doesn’t really eat that much and will only eat junk food in very limited times like once a week. I just don’t know what could be causing it. Ive breast fed both my other children and they are just normal probably on the skinny side but my daughter seems to be retaining the weight. The dietician has told
    Me I must stop breastfeeding, however I am reluctant to do this as I know how good it is for her and how much she loves to do this. I am in the process of setting some boundaries with the boob much to her disgust haha but I just wanted to know if anyone else has experience the same issues I’m having? Thank you 😊 xxx

    Reply
    • Hi Jemma, I’m not a lactation consultant nor a medical professional. But, I’ve not heard of breastmilk making a child of that age obese! Check and see if there’s anything else going on. Did your other children fed that way? If she is emotionally eating (and breastfeeding/addicted), I highly recommend reading the book ‘Tears and Tantrums’ by Aletha Solter. She talks about feeding related to emotions. Good luck, and big love.

      Reply
  48. I’m so THANKFUL for this article! It’s finally one that hit the nail on the head and has actually given me the support I have been needing! Thank you!!!!

    Reply
    • Yay! Great to hear.

      Reply
      • Here I am another google surfing out of desperation mother. My 23 month old is boobie obsessed. I started working again and I felt bad to leave and stop breastfeeding but now I think it’s more than ever no1 is sleeping. It’s very stressful. Just like pp said there are other siblings and family members in the house that need sleep it’s not easy or fair to just let him cry.

Share Your Thoughts