“They were fine all day with me, but the second they saw you, they lost it, Kate! I don’t understand!” Says my husband, on a regular basis.
The other day, I read a funny article titled, “Study: Children Are 800% Worse When Their Mothers are in the Room” (a fake study). I cracked up when I read the title, and quickly realized it was fake, once I read it. Despite the article being fake, the concept is TRUE! Kids are absolutely 800% worse when around their mothers… and why???
Because YOU, mama, are their safe place. YOU are the place they can come to with all of their problems. If you can’t make something better… well, then who else can?
YOU, dear mama, are a garbage disposal of unpleasant feelings and emotions.
If a child’s been holding it together all day, in an unpleasant situation, the second they see you, they know it’s time they can finally let go.
That means letting go of whatever… whining… crying… their bowels, etc. It’s the last thing you want to deal with after having been out enjoying yourself, or after coming home, tired, from a day at work… but that’s what we, as mothers, get: the uninhibited expression of a raw emotional release, slapping us in the face, the second we stumble through the door.
You have not spoiled your kids rotten if your are greeted at the door with whining and screaming. Oh no… don’t let anyone tell you that.
Rather, you’ve created a space safe enough for your child to have permission to be natural.
And, by the way… it’s REALY REALLY important for kids to be natural with their feelings, their emotions and their bodily functions. When they grow up, we want our children to have highly functioning emotional intelligence and body awareness, right?
So, take it as a good sign.
Do your kids start speaking tongue, crying, releasing their bowels and clinging to you when you walk in the door? Take it as a sign that they love you and just know that I’m sending you lots of love the next time it happens, because I know… Oh, I know… it drives us all bonkers-up-the-wall! They save it all for you.