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I Hate Having Kids

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Sorry if I hold your hand too tight when we cross the street. Sorry if hover too much. Sorry if I ask you, “are you alright?” a few too many times. Sorry if I check all night long that you’re breathing. Sorry that I over react sometimes when I think you might get hurt.

What’s that cough? What’s that bump? Am I saying and doing the right things? I know I have to let you go and I have to have faith that you’ll be safe. But deep down, there’s always that nagging thought… I’ve learned to quiet that thought, but it’s still there. I’m not an anxious person, but you do something to me that defies everything I thought I knew about myself.

The same thing that brings you joy can also make you miserable. I KNOW this. If you told me this knowledge on life about anything else, I can get it. A new car that brings you joy, makes you miserable when it gets scratched. An exciting new job can get mundane after some time. A new love will turn old. A young beautiful body will get old and wrinkled. I know all this and accept it… but when it comes to my babies, it’s so different. I love you, I worry. I can’t help it. I love you so much that I hate it!

About katesurfs

Kate is an American living in Australia with her husband and two young children. She holds a Masters of Educational Practice and is a high school science teacher by profession, but mostly she stays at home with her children. She is a yoga and meditation teacher, trained through the Art of Living Foundation, a surfer, a vegetarian, and healthy conscious. She is an Aware Parenting Instructor, as well as a Know Your Child Teacher.

3 Responses »

  1. Kate, that is why I’m so happy you are my grandchildren’s mother. Every ounce of worry equals love, keep it up. The kids are everything anyone could hope for: happy,smart,outgoing,independent,secure……I could keep going on till I ran out of space. Thank you for how you are raising them, forgive yourself any lapses , you are the best. Tell Art I know Marty would be proud of the kind of father he is. There are no better fathers than Art and Marty. Watching Marty with Art is how I knew I wanted to marry him and raise a family. Love to all , Gail ❤

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  2. Carol A Phillips

    Hi Katie, This was such a great piece and so true! I can tell you this – even at my age and the girls ages they are still my babies and yes, I still worry.

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